In response to Sandra’s question, I explained that I was not yet in a relationship with the lady in question.
Sandra: So what is it about the lady?
Me: Hum. The best words to describe her are beyond superlatives. In fact, I can’t sleep without gazing at her pictures.
Sandra: Wow! She must be an angel
Me: Ha ha… Yes, she is.
Sandra then asked why I was drawing back from making my intention known.
Me: Well, I have some hindrances
Sandra: Like?
Me: You know love is love when it is mutual. So I am trying to figure out maybe we share the same feeling.
Sandra: You are right? But, you can’t tell whether she loves you by admiring her from a distance. You have to be in a relationship.
Me: Concerning that, we are friends already. But, since love is not outward, how do I tell if she loves me?
Sandra: I think action is outward and it is love that moves us to act. Pay attention to her attitude towards you.
Me: Wow! Sandra the relationship coach. That’s is a good suggestion, though.
Sandra: LOL
Me: Okay. Let me narrate an experience to you.
Sandra: Ok
Me: A couple of years ago, I met a lady who caught my interest. We were known together and many expected that we would tie the knot in no time.
At this point, she sent an emoticon to indicate she was paying attention.
Me: So at the appropriate time, I decided to buy a ring. Then I visited her in order to express my interest in making her my life partner
Sandra: Interesting!
Me: We were all alone when I approached her and tapped my ring box. Could you guess what happened next?
Sandra: She collapsed?
Me: Ha ha…
Sandra: Or did she turn you down?
Me: Yes, she turned me down point blank
Sandra: Oh my God!
The story I narrated to Sandra was about my relationship with Bintu. As the chat progressed, Sandra sent a weeping emoticon and explained that Bintu might be a gold digger because such happening is uncommon among women folk. She also reasoned that Bintu might be in a relationship she could not sacrifice for my interest.
Me: Can you see why I feel love and action can be counter-intuitive now? Sometimes, action can be misleading.
Sandra: Hum!
Me: She was a lady who had spent good time with me partying, picnicking and shopping. I spent a lot in order to please her. I also admired what she loved and she used to help me with the household chores whenever she came around. In fact, I could not fathom that she was not looking forward to becoming my life partner
Sandra: You are right. Action can sometimes leave a wrong impression
Me: That’s why I have been exercising patient in my quest for a marriage mate
Sandra: But you don’t have to wait for so long without making your intention known
Me: Ok
Sandra: Tell her straight away that you truly love her and would like to build your future with her
Me: What if she turns me down?
Sandra: You can’t drink the water from a coconut without cracking the shell. So it is our nature that men have to press us a bit before having our consent. It is meant to know how serious and interested you are. Likewise, it boosts our self-esteem
Me: OK
Sandra: But if her rejection persists, you won’t have to limit yourself to only a lady. There are many ladies out there who are bright, beautiful, reasonable and ready for marriage
Me: But there is no one I can ever compare with this lady
Sandra: Uh! That means you are drunk in love with her. LOL
Me: You are right
Sandra: Let me see the picture of the princess.
In a nutshell, that was how I successfully tapped into Sandra’s psychology without her knowledge. And the time finally arose for me to reveal to her that she was exactly the lady in question. But how would she react to the unexpected revelation?
